Our mission: to help in the transition from drinker of quantity to drinker of quality. Along the way, we'll have some laughs, or someone's catching heck. Prolly me.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Dan Akroyd's Crystal Head Vodka

Johnny's ancestor, Genghis Lager
Crystal Head Vodka, $50
Dan Akroyd you magnificent son of a bitch! Now, thanks to you, I can drink from a skull, just as my ancestors did! Or just as mystic space aliens did. Or something. 

Their web site explains their inspiration: 13 (or 7?) Chrystal Skulls from antiquity (maybe). Then it gets a bit mystical. At the bottom of this post is a video of Dan Akroyd cheerfully bellowing about the occult and his vodka. You cannot tell if he is kidding.

Included is a promising description of their vodka: "Our beverage consists of the proprietary mash and the deep glacial aquifer Newfoundland water – and that’s it!… It is thrice filtered through charcoal and then thrice filtered through Herkimer diamonds…"

I can't sort out the Herkimer diamonds bit, but whatever: I was lucky enough to find the gift-pack with two smaller drinking skulls, so, let's drink from the skull! 

Ecto-brain, electric with merriment!
First of all, it comes with a cork -an honest-to-god plastic cork. Oh well. But! Firster of all, it comes in a freaking skull. It could taste like isopropyl and I would still buy it. 

I gave it a sniff, and it smells like isopropyl. Not a good start. But, I am richer three glass skulls. So I have that going for me, which is nice. The taste, happily, is light, bright and smooth, but it burns the tongue and throat a little. The mouth feel is a bit watery.

An ice cube took some of the edge off, improved the mouthfeel and brought out a slightly flowery taste. Not bad. In the interest of fairness: another taste. A bit of a one-note vodka, I'm afraid, but the burn is all but gone on the third sip. In the interest of science: another taste. Still a one-note vodka, but some people like that. I think. Not my friends from Poland, Germany or Russia, though. 

Look, it comes down to this: There are more affordable vodkas with more flavor and nuance on the market, but this one:
A) comes exactly as described; crisp and made from simple, pure ingredients, 
B) comes with a sense of fun, and conversation-starting mystical speculations, 

Price: $50
Rating: 4.5 out of 7 Crystal Heads for taste; 7 out of 7 Crystal Heads for style. Make of that what you will.

Dan Akroyd has this to say about it:


  1. The Worst Hangover of my Life (officially, certified and all) came from Crystal Head. I think. Maybe it was antiquity. Or the occult. Or the fact that I was drinking form a fucking skull in Albany.

  2. Must be some sort of skull-on-skull synergy.