Our mission: to help in the transition from drinker of quantity to drinker of quality. Along the way, we'll have some laughs, or someone's catching heck. Prolly me.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Lording it Up on a Train

Penis.
By Johnny Lager
Ah, the train! That mysteriously expensive, vacation-time consuming, motion sickness inducing, massive accident in potentia, preferred by grumpy people in their 50's dressed in either rumpled business suits, or t-shirts. Truly the genial transport of gentlemen of leisure. While there are many downsides, like the lack of cocktail service from flight attendants, there are advantages too. Like, not hurtling through the sky in an aluminum tube, not getting the much maligned, but arguably free, TSA approved colorectal exam and not having your tally-wacker photographed.

When choosing the train over flying, one trades breathtaking areal views, for the lovely, gentle, vistas of the sprawling countryside; forests, lakes, streams, shorelines and mountains, as well as the villages and cities you roll through. Everything about a train is easy, and gentlemanly. Even though, on a plane, flight attendants will bring you refreshments at your beck and call, you will likely be gulping down that booze in a white-knuckled attempt to "take the fear outta ya." On a train, however, one can genially take in the sights of sea-side villages and the like, while sipping a craft beer, glass of wine, whisky or indeed, a cocktail. Unlike a plane, one has to walk through a few cars to get their own drinks, but then again, a train is less likely to suddenly drop 30 feet in turbulence.

Train Stations have a pleasant,
old timey feel
And let us not forget the history! The grand thriving rail roads that once made this country! And their European cousins, connecting the British to their Empire. Once upon a time, trains had Smoking Cars, and Bar Cars, then, Sundry Cars, and now Cafe Cars. A history of luxury and class, now disabused of it's classist history. Sorta.' Business class and First class still kick ass, and cost much more then the regular fair.

A gent travels light,
or risks a ribbing from his bros.
While I would not recommend trains for extended travel, in this day and age of lean vacation-time. I do recommend it for short trips of a few hundred miles, with the rosey-cheeked enthusiasm of a happy gent with a libation in hand.

Bottoms up! Take a gentle, rolling train ride, and stay classy!
Johnny Lager



1 comment:

  1. That is a great and interesting post, thanks for sharing it dude hope to get such quality blog posts from you in future too :)

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