|This is gonna be one Classy DIY Lamp
Pyrat Rum XO Reserve, $35
I hate rum. It makes my tumbly all unhappy even after just a sip. It's sweet, burny and artless. So I'm always on the lookout for one I can dig. While 'stumbling' around town I came across an intriguing species of blended rum. I hoped that blending would introduce character and nuance that rum typically lacks. Also, Pyrat Rum XO Reserve has suspiciously awesome packaging. I have a love/hate relationship with awesome packaging. It came in an amazing round box, with a Hotei stamp, medallion and plethora of specious stories. I was not surprised to discover that Pyrat Rum is put out by the marketing geniuses who convinced us that Patron is worth $50. Nonetheless; round box emblazoned with Hotei. You know I'm gonna buy it.
|Ahoy Matey! Tis time for some
The Pyrat Rum people have a very cool web page, supporting the fancy-ass packaging and cock-and-bull "Enlightenment/Pirates" theme, but I'm not 15 years old; I'm familiar with those concepts and their lack of relation, so it'll have no bearing on my palate. Pyrat Rum's mascot, "Hoti" (sic) is described on the bottle and website as a "Zen Patron Saint," whatever that might mean. He is, in fact, a pan-asian god/personification of happiness and contemplation. Close enough I guess, but, I'm still unable to discern the relationship between Asia/Taoism/Shintoism/Buddhism and rum; but, you know I'll be wearing that medallion if it's ever the 70's again. Still, I feel they have gone too far with all of this hullabaloo and jumped the Caribbean shark, if you will.
Another note on packaging: this nifty antique looking bottle is wearing a scarf, medallion and booklet. Damn yo, I didn't realize it was community theatre night at the Lager Haus.
When I listened back to my audio notes, intended only for me, I knew I had to share them. My language is a bit frank. The beeping stops a few seconds in. I have also faithfully transcribed the audio notes for those who wish to deprive themselves of my rich baritone/not get caught d_cking around at work.
"Nose: Light, sweet, a little bit of spice, fruit; maybe blueberry and/or diarrhea. As the bottle stays open it tends more towards blueberry.
First taste: Ugh, it's f_ckin' gross, Oh, my Lord, I don't even know how to describe that. I can't, like, my brain just overloaded. Uh, it's really unpleasant. It definitely has that sort of diarrhea/blueberry aftertaste. Um, It's sorta making my tongue's a little angry; I don't want any more; my lungs are hot; my stomach's pissed off.
Lets try and take another taste so I can get some words out. It really does have some interesting overtones, a little citrusy, maybe a hint of vanilla, there is that blueberry issue there on the second taste, then there is some sort of wood alcohol third flavor, I don't even know what you'd call that.
I'll try it on ice. It's considerably smoother, much less of the woodgrain flavor, The mouth feel is a little richer... The fruity flavor is a bit sweater, but a little less blueberry. It definitely -you just cant escape the diarrhea thing. And there's a bit of an oaky, orangey taste that I would like to love, but I just can't get into this. It is a rich and interesting enough flavor, so that if you like it, I think you'd be loath to mix it, but I think I'll be using my entire stock on Dark and Stormys."
Some things I'd like add to that mayhem: One, I'm not the only one who noted the less than pleasant nose; Two, my tasting panel, who like rum, more or less agreed with me; Three, it has more of a maple syrup flavor than the familiar molasses.
Overview: Not without character and interest, but not for me.
Rating: 1 out of 5 Buddhist Pirates; help yourself, more for you.